Go for the Gold You Talented Bitches!

January 12, 2009

Well…the Golden Globes are just around the corner ummm…tonight! Yeah, I just got around to posting this…and the awards season is in full effect. As a gay man, I might be pushing the stereotype that we are all movie buffs and throw Oscar parties, but I honestly don’t give a shit, because I love the fucking cinema!

Since boredom bears upon me easily, don’t expect a full list of every category, cause this ain’t the Oscars, bitches.

Anne Hathaway in 'Rachel Getting Married'

Anne Hathaway in 'Rachel Getting Married'

Best Actress-Drama

I’m freaking ecstatic about Anne Hathaway getting nominated for Rachel Getting Married, not only because she is one of my favorite (new) actresses, but she actually delivered a beautiful performance in this seriously emotional flick. Since I haven’t even seen I’ve Loved You So Long (hence no one else has), for which Kristin Scott Thomas was nominated, I’ve got to say Kate Winslet will take the gold for Revolutionary Road, in which she reunited with hunky Titanic-lover Leo DiCaprio. Yeah, you remember the whole nude drawing and fucking in the car with the handprint…Got to love it! Meryl Streep (Doubt) and Angelina Jolie (Changeling) were also nominated in this category, but they have enough awards…share the wealth, you talented bitches!

Read on for more picks… M

Mickey Rourke in ‘The Wrestler’

Best Actor-Drama

Frank Langella has been fucked out of recognition for many roles in the past years, but I still don’t think he’ll win this year for his stirring performance as notorious president Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon. Hunky fillers Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and Leo DiCaprio (Revolutionary Road) have plenty of time in the future to win awards, therefore, Sean Penn (Milk) and Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) are the front-runners for this category. Penn kicked-ass as gay activist Harvey Milk and Rourke pulled at the heartstrings of America this year with his triumphant comeback to the big screen. Who knows…I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Sally

Sally Hawkins in 'Happy-Go-Lucky'

Best Actress-Musical or Comedy

There’s no doubt in my mind that Sally Hawkins will win for her indie-role in Happy-Go-Lucky…who else could win this category? Why the fuck Rebecca Hall was nominated for her role in Vicky Cristina Barcelona is beyond me and I doubt anyone has seen Last Chance Harvey for which Emma Thompson was nominated. Meryl Streep’s Mamma Mia! was probably only seen by gay men and their mothers, but she did a hell of a job dancing and singing in the flick. Frances McDormand (Burn After Reading) just seems to get nominated for anything and already has an Oscar, so she can just let it slide this year. The award should go to Sally Hawkins…I mean come on, give an unknown a chance to please the masses.

Seth Rogen & James Franco in 'Pineapple Express'

Seth Rogen & James Franco in 'Pineapple Express'

Best Actor-Musical or Comedy

I really think James Franco should win for his stellar performance as a dead-beat stoner in Pineapple Express, but those uptight assholes from the Golden Globes won’t give it to him, but we know better don’t we? Besides, he’s fucking hot! Therefore, it’ll have to go to foreign critical darling Javier Bardem for his role in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I only say this because I doubt anyone saw Colin Farrel or Brendan Gleeson play assassins in the indie-flick In Bruges or Dustin Hoffman in Last Chance Harvey. Fuck ’em! I’ll watch intelligent stoner flicks with hotties anytime!

Alright…Now, I’m not going into the supporting categories, because it is obvious who will win. Heath Ledger is the only person who can win for Best Supporting Actor because he’s amazing and created a new, better and scarier version of The Joker in The Dark Knight. Kate Winslet should win for her performance in The Reader because she is way past her due to get a fucking award, so…give it to her!

I hope you enjoyed my predictions…and if you didn’t, do you really think I give a shit? Let’s see how the Oscar nominations playout…

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2 Responses to “Go for the Gold You Talented Bitches!”

  1. coffee said

    Mickey Rourke’s comeback story reminds me a lot of Robert Downey Jr. for some reason

    • projectryan said

      I can see where you come from, but will have to respectfully disagree…
      Robert Downey, Jr. never really got out of the spotlight, nor did he do too many really bad movies…Rourke disappeared from cinema and turned out some truly horrible movies in his time.

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